Download Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)
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Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)
Download Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner (The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series)
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Review
“Cindy N. Ariel gets it like few people do. With a vision that is steeped in both research and experience, she is able to guide us through the trials, confusion, and treasure of loving someone with Asperger’s syndrome. She does this with open eyes and an open, compassionate heart. This is the kind of guide I wish for everyone who loves someone who is different.” —Daniel Gottlieb, PhD, psychologist, family therapist, and author of Letters to Sam and The Wisdom of Sam “Discovering Asperger’s syndrome is a true adventure. But intimate relationships can be complex. Partners most often must learn to reflect, adapt, and compromise for the relationship to succeed. Accepting each partner’s differences and reaching mutual understanding can be a long journey. In her book, Ariel truly captures the essence and uniqueness of an Asperger’s-neurotypical relationship. With her explanations, examples, and exercises, she guides couples toward better communication, quality time, and intimacy. This book will inspire couples to attain a better relationship.” —Isabelle Hénault, MA, PhD, sexologist, psychologist, and author of Asperger’s Syndrome and Sexuality “Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome is a practical and helpful must-have guide for couples as well as therapists! This easy-to-read book includes lots of AS-friendly exercises based on the learning style of individuals with AS. These tools provide concrete activities that can assist couples in working through issues that commonly occur when one partner has Asperger’s.” —Diane Adreon, EdD, associate director of the University of Miami Center for Autism and coauthor of Asperger Syndrome and Adolescence “An informative and practical book that couples will enjoy reading to achieve greater mutual understanding and acquire strategies to enhance their relationship. This book will encourage realistic hope for the future and help partners rediscover and reinforce the deep love that can be felt for someone with Asperger’s syndrome. —Tony Attwood, PhD, author of The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome “Kudos to Cindy N. Ariel! While her new book, Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, will be widely used by partners, its potential for use by professionals who are therapists and counselors is remarkable. The exercises help each of the two parties conceptualize what the other is thinking in a blameless, constructive manner so as to support change and adaptation. I fully plan to use this book in my university teaching programs for upcoming social workers.” —Dena L. Gassner, LMSW, owner/director of the Center for Understanding in Nashville, TN, and contributing author to Scholars with Autism
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About the Author
Cindy N. Ariel, PhD, is a psychologist in Philadelphia, PA, with over twenty years of experience working with people dealing with Asperger’s syndrome. She is coeditor of Voices from the Spectrum. Foreword writer Stephen Shore, EdD, is assistant professor of education at Adelphi University. He has Asperger’s syndrome himself and is an internationally known author, consultant, and presenter on issues related to the autism spectrum.
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Product details
Series: The New Harbinger Loving Someone Series
Paperback: 216 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (March 1, 2012)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1608820777
ISBN-13: 978-1608820771
Product Dimensions:
5.9 x 0.6 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
46 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#80,092 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
My wife and I are working our way through this book together, reading the chapters, doing the exercises, and discussing the results. We've been married twenty years, but this book has helped us understand each other better, work out better solutions to the problems of daily life together, and remember why we fell in love with each other in the first place.
This is an excellent book describing aspergers in relationships. The author offers techniques for improving the relationship. I feel great relief now that my understanding has increased and hopeful that we can rekindle the lost love.
Really helpful insights and a lot of great "light bulb" moments. I wish I had found this years ago! It's an absolute MUST HAVE in my opinion if you are in a relationship with someone on the high functioning end of the spectrum
This book is precise and very readable, not preachy or clinical, and easy to understand when you are dealing with a condition that isn't. We read it together and did the quizzes, then discussed them. I think that it helped each of us learn more about how the other sees and deals with the world. If you have a partner with AS or suspect you might, give this book a read, it will clarify things for you and help you understand what to do next and how to save your sanity and possibly your relationship..
I found and read this book after breakup with a diagnosed high functioning ASD, to make sense of my 5-year relationship.This book perfectly describes my personal experiences of emotional deprivation, sense of loneliness, and frustration. I didn't know very much before reading it, she was different in her habits and dynamic (that I initially found due to her shyness) and I assumed to be able to deal with (kind of ignoring, as I couldn't really explain); in particular with her on-and-off "cold disconnection periods". As Ariel wrote, these feelings are not overwhelming, apparently manageable, but persistently there. And in the long run they can break you, because a NT will perceive ASD behaviors as hostile persistent and personal choice. But they are actually "distracted acts", not choices. Reading this book I learned they are not choices: my frustration remained there, but anger disappeared.There are some aspects in this book that could be further developed. It is about NT/ASD expectations during progression of relationship toward marriage. This leads in NT to an urge need to "fill the gap", to stop disconnection (as it was possible) to fill up the romantic idea of marriage. The mission becomes to bridge disconnection, but it is an impossible one. Increasing demand of expressions of love, increases stereotyped answers from ASD person (wishing to give them but not knowing how) that, as a paradox, increases distance and loneliness in NT partner, also adding a slight sense of creepiness. In my personal case entitling my emotional abusive behavior toward her, out of resentment after 5 years, leading her to meltdown and breakup.My 5-year experience confirms everything I read in this book, including my mistakes. I wish I had read this book before and I'm grateful to Cindy Ariel to have written it as a reference and workbook at the same time, in easy language.I recommend reading it as soon as you know/suspect your partner is Asperger to make a conscious decision if to stay there or not. If you want to stay there be prepared: the source of frustration will never go away. In fact Cindy teaches you tricks how to deal with them, but not how to remove them.
For anyone who is in a relationship with someone with Asperger's Syndrome, this is the book for you! I have read many books and as much information that I could find on the Syndrome, but this book has opened up a deeper understanding to me. As you read this book, you will grow to appreciate the amazing uniqueness of someone with Aspergers. We know that they think outside the box and seem like the most complex and even at times, the most irritating people to live with. Yet the insight that this therapist gives about this pivotal person in your life, will open up amazing new possibilities for defining and strengthening your relationship. It has done this in a short time for me! It has finally given me the 'tools' I so desperately needed to communicate, to comprehend and even to discover meaningful aspects of my own character and insecurities. It is a life changing book! If you do the exercises and apply the insightful council this professional offers; you will see almost immediate results. It will give you hope and a new found rhythm to your interaction with your loved one. Never underestimate the possibilities and wonderful potential of someone with Aspergers. Open the window into the amazing mind that you will finally begin to understand. You will learn methods of communication which will begin a whole new exciting chapter in your relationship and in your life! Thank you Cindy Ariel for sharing this compelling and insightful information with us!
It is an excellent book to explain the problem a neurotypical woman gets into by marrying an Asperger man like myself. It has helped bring peace to our house.
Reading this book released me from feeling bad about things and helped me compassionately navigate this adventure I am in,. I loved her take and information regarding this issue. I highly recommend it as a great read and her resources are helpful too.
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